Cohering Community

In this program, you will experience many conversations designed to deepen our coherence and connection with ourselves and others. These core conversations include 6 tried and proven conversations from Peter Block's book, "Community - The Structure of Belonging".

People become powerful when they choose to shift the context within which they act in the world. Communities are human systems given form by conversations that build relatedness. The conversations that build relatedness most often occur through associational life, where people show up by choice.

Each of these conversations will be experienced through inquiry with powerful questions. The power is in the inquiry, not the answers. The Peter Block conversations that are included in the program are:

• The Invitation Conversation
  "Invitation is the means through which hospitality is created. Invitation counters the conventional belief that change requires a mandate or persuasion. Invitation honors the importance of choice, the necessary condition for accountability." - Peter Block
• The Possibility Conversation
  The distinction is between possibility and problem-solving. Possibility is a future beyond our reach. The possibility conversation works on us and evolves from a discussion of personal crossroads. It takes the form of a declaration, best made publicly.
• The Ownership Conversation
  It asks people to act as if they are creating what exists in the world. The distinction is between ownership and blame.
• The Dissent Conversation
  The dissent conversation creates an opening for commitment. When dissent is expressed, just listen. Don't solve it, defend against it, or explain anything. The primary distinction is between dissent and lip service. A second distinction is between dissent and denial, rebellion, or resignation.
• The Commitment Conversation
  The commitment conversation is a promise with no expectation of return. Commitment is distinguished from barter. The enemy of commitment is lip service, not dissent or opposition.
  The commitments that count the most are ones made to peers and other citizens/members. We have to explicitly provide support for members/citizens to declare that there is no promise they are willing to make at this time. Refusal to promise does not cost us our membership or seat at the table. We only lose our seat when we do not honor our word.
• The Gifts Conversation
  The leadership and citizen/member task is to bring the gifts of those on the margin into the center. The distinction is between gifts and deficiencies or needs. We are not defined by deficiencies or what is missing. We are defined by our gifts and what is present. We choose our destiny when we have the courage to acknowledge our own gifts and choose to bring them into the world. A gift is not a gift until it is offered.

In the Cohering Community circle-based practices, and open dialogue participants can develop a range of powerful skills and capacities, including:

• Active Listening: Participants learn to listen attentively to others without interrupting, judging, or formulating responses prematurely. Active listening promotes understanding, empathy, and respectful communication within the group.
• Empathy and Compassion: Engaging in group circle practices encourages individuals to understand and empathize with the perspectives, experiences, and emotions of others. Developing empathy and compassion fosters deeper connections and promotes a sense of belonging within the group.
• Effective Communication: Participants practice expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, honest, and respectful manner. Effective communication skills such as speaking assertively, asking open-ended questions, and giving constructive feedback are essential for productive open dialogue within groups.
• Conflict Resolution: Group circle practices provide a safe and supportive space for addressing conflicts and disagreements constructively. Participants learn to navigate conflicts through active listening, empathy, and collaborative problem-solving, leading to mutually satisfactory resolutions.
• Building Trust and Connection: By sharing personal experiences, thoughts, and feelings within the group, participants develop trust and deepen connections with one another. Building trust is essential for creating a supportive and cohesive group environment.
• Reflective Practice: Group circle practices often incorporate opportunities for reflection and self-awareness. Participants are encouraged to explore their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, leading to greater self-understanding and personal growth.
• Facilitation Skills: Individuals who facilitate group circle practices develop skills in guiding open dialogue, managing group dynamics, and creating a safe and inclusive space for all participants. Effective facilitation promotes meaningful engagement and ensures that everyone's voice is heard.
• Cultural Competence and Diversity Awareness: Engaging in group circle practices allows participants to explore diverse perspectives, experiences, and cultural backgrounds. Developing cultural competence and diversity awareness fosters inclusivity, respect, and appreciation for differences within the group.
• Collaboration and Teamwork: Group circle practices emphasize the importance of collaboration and teamwork in achieving common goals and objectives. Participants learn to work together, support one another, and leverage collective strengths to address challenges and create positive change.
• Mindfulness and Presence: Engaging in group circle practices involves cultivating mindfulness and present-moment awareness. Participants learn to be fully present, attentive, and nonjudgmental, enhancing their ability to connect with others and engage authentically in the group process.

Overall, our group circle practices and open dialogue offers a valuable opportunity for you to develop interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence, and relational capacities that are essential for building healthy, resilient communities and organizations.

A truly safe group environment provides the basis for powerful transformation, empowering exploration, inspired collaboration and vibrant living. We co-create this space by the way we participate. Here are some ways you can help in co-creating a shared, held, safe space for connection and contemplation.

The primary underlying principle of these agreements is acceptance. Accept that everyone is doing their best to learn and grow, by respecting and following these standards. Self-acceptance is particularly beneficial to experience a safe, empowering environment to learn, create, communicate and celebrate.

In signing up for a Cohering Community experience, I agree to practice these standards to the best of my ability:

1. It is my intention to maintain confidentiality. 

• What I see and hear that is personal or specific to another within the group will stay here.
• When sharing the essence of someone else's story, without the names and specific details, I agree to share in an honoring manner that celebrates the original person’s magnificence.

2. It is my intention to have an open and innocent mind and heart.

• I release evaluating or comparing what I am learning.
• I allow myself to “try on” and wear the information for a while, as it stands.

3. It is my intention to practice a positive focus.

• I focus on what is working and what is magnificent.
• I fill my tank with the power of positivity.
• What I perceive in others I strengthen in myself.
• What I focus on expands.

4. It is my intention to connect at a heart level.

• I practice opening my heart to the essence of what is being conveyed.
• I release the need to evaluate and judge, at least for now, in the moment.

5. It is my intention to claim my experience as my own.

• I speak in “I” statements so I can claim my own experience.
• I release telling others what they should do, feel, believe, or act.

6. It is my intention to listen deeply and with honor.

• I am 100% engaged and my positive attention is on the person sharing.
• I release anticipating what the person is going to share.
• I re-spect, and look again with new eyes.
• I look for the gifts being shared – their courage, authenticity, brilliance, etc.
• I allow the person sharing to indicate that he or she is complete.

7. It is my intention to give authentic acknowledgment and support.

• I am authentic while giving feedback.
• I keep it simple and speak to the essence of what I experienced.
• I maintain heart contact with the person to whom I am giving support.
• I allow a session to stand on its own, and I release the need to compare.
• I notice when I want to give unsolicited advice, criticism, counseling or consulting, and then release it without sharing it!

8. It is my intention to fully receive acknowledgment and support.

• I am open to receiving acknowledgment – as the gift it is – and let it sink in.
• I maintain heart contact with the person acknowledging me.

9. It is my intention to practice self-care and self-responsibility, and allow others to do the same.

• I maintain a safe space for myself. I take care of and honor the wisdom of my body, heart, mind, and source of inspiration, allowing them to guide me.
• When something feels like a judgment or advice, I can simply ask within, that it be reframed.
• When I have a judgment, I say “Thank you for sharing,” to that voice within me, and I choose a more resourceful thought and focus.

10. It is my intention to be fully present.

• I maintain these agreements in and out of the learning space.
• I am here on time to start live group sessions.
• I come to sessions rested and in a resourceful state.